5 small ways to point your children towards a happy, healthy future

It might not always feel like it, but your children are always learning from you. They take their cues from you, both from what you say, and (perhaps more importantly) from what you do. That's why it's not enough to share your values with them, you need to demonstrate them in real practical ways every day.

Go out of your way to find teachable moments where you can demonstrate Christian values in real, practical ways. Show them the power of forgiveness, the beauty of charity and grace, the kindness of Christ. As Christians, it's always important to back our words up with deeds, but it is extra crucial when you're shaping a young life by what you do (and what you don't do).

When you're busy balancing work with raising a family, time can seem like a commodity more precious than gold. Small interruptions can feel like jarring diversions, and deviations from a schedule seem like the first domino is a chain reaction of a ruined day. Even so, you'll always want to make time for the small moments when your child wants to share something with you.

Yes, it can be frustrating when your little guy or girl tugs on your pant leg to show you something while you're just trying to get dinner in the oven or dash off a quick email for work, but take the time to pay attention and focus on them. Dinner won't spoil with an extra 30 seconds to a minute on the counter, and work will be there tomorrow, but children grow up in the blink of an eye. Be there to enjoy the small moments with your kids while you can, it will make them feel loved and you'll enjoy the memory later more than anything else you could be doing.

One of the joys of having children is sharing what you love with them. This can be a beautiful thing, when you pass on the passion and joy you have for a hobby to your son or daughter and it becomes a bonding activity you're able to share together. However, remember that the point of having children is not to make another carbon copy of yourself. Share what you love, but don't push something on them if they just don't care all that much. Instead, celebrate what they do love. Let them find their own joy and passion. Who knows, they might just introduce you to some cool new things.

Love your children equally, but make sure to take the occasional moment to give each child special attention. The idea isn't to make anyone feel left out or play favourites, but to make sure each child knows they are loved as an individual, not just as "one of the kids.”

This doesn't need to be a lavish thing. One of my happiest memories as a child comes from Saturday breakfasts with my dad. My older brothers would always sleep in on Saturdays, and dad would take the opportunity to make a special pancake breakfast for just me and him that nobody else joined in on. It was a small special bond we had that made me feel loved and appreciated and he enjoyed. 

Consciously or unconsciously, your kids will always model their idea of a relationship after what they see between you and your spouse. Be sure to set a positive example for them. Be affectionate to your husband or wife in front of them, let them see you hug and kiss (even if they're going through a "ewww” phase). Set the standard for them that healthy relationships are built on kindness, mutual respect, and love.

At the same time, let them see you work things out. No relationship is devoid of disagreement or tension, and hiding every hint of it behind closed doors will only set unrealistic expectations for their own future relationships. Show them that partners work things out together in a constructive manner, by sharing and listening to each other and reaching compromise. Not every matter is appropriate to discuss in front of your kids obviously, but when you can, show them that mommy and daddy can argue and still love each other.